Chapter List

I go to baseball games now and want so badly to just be able to magically take these kids back to a better time, where playing baseball was fun, where parents and coaches had their priorities straight, and the experiences stayed with you longer than the game itself. It was wonderful back in the day, but like everything else, baseball and life have changed.

Somewhere along the line we lost our way. Not the players, but the parents and the coaches. We really don’t have much of a clue anymore. We have managed to drift way off course and when we try to figure out why, everyone seems to point the finger somewhere else.

Maybe by trying to give our kids everything we didn’t have, we took away from them what we did have. The truth is, we had everything growing up.

Teaching a life lesson was more important than winning a game, even if it cost us a perfect record. I really had no reason to be angry at him. Now I understand the lesson that was being taught. I hope as a coach that I would have no problem doing that myself. It has become obvious to me that under particular circumstance, there really was no other good choice. What is sad is that a lot of coaches would never dare to do that because winning is just way too important.

What’s so good about beating up on lesser teams? What’s so good about making fun of a kid smaller and younger than you? You see coaches puff out their chest and act condescending when they beat a team with much less talent. They act like they’re the reason the team won, that they’re such a good coach.

The most important game that year was the game we lost. I didn’t know it at the time, but now it is crystal clear and a life lesson well received. The one game I remember that summer was that loss, and the one game that affected me in the most positive way was that loss. I just didn’t know at the time how much it would impact me.

The real life started; the one with bills and pressures and mortgages and kids; the life with sick parents and jobs that were never just right or paid quite enough money. I, like most people, can look back at a lot of lost years. Not that we didn’t have good experiences and accomplish noble things, and improve our standard of living.

We just stopped allowing ourselves to be kids.

We stopped being passionate.

There was no time for childhood dreams anymore.

There was no time for broken bats.

He [Coach Spellman] was a real coach. He didn’t measure a player just by numbers. He measured by heart and head and instinct. He had smart players. He had intense players. He had heady players. The radar gun doesn’t give you that information.

He learned to be a great baseball coach by being on the field, watching, learning, teaching, and even asking questions of his players. He threw batting practice before each game. The ball was pitched to certain spots for a reason and he expected the ball to be hit to certain spots for a reason. You just learned to do it.

He knew the game of baseball at a level that I have not since seen. He was incredibly perceptive.

He knew who was quick but not fast, who could lay down a bunt, who could throw from deep short to first, who could hit the ball a mile but couldn’t hit the down and out curve ball. He knew who got into proper cut off position, which players could draw a walk, and what pitchers performed better pitching from the stretch than others.

We have become a nation addicted to winning. “We’re number one puts smiles on sport fan’s faces. Running a good race doesn’t always.”

This premise relates to every facet of life, whether at home, at church, at school, at work or at play. Numbers are crunched, awards are pursued, and emotions are stifled in favor of one upsmanship. Even the Jones’ have a hard time keeping up.

Life too often becomes a tough game with more losers than winners. When claiming the prize eliminates the good in playing, no one wins. Real awards come from teamwork, and playing the game unselfishly for the good of the whole.

Our team had some really good athletes and that’s why we won games. It wasn’t superb coaching with great strategy and perfect managerial moves. We just had better athletes than most teams. As a coach, when you are in this position, the best thing to do is probably stay out of their way and let them play ball. They don’t need the athletic help; they need the coach for all the other things with building good teamwork right on the top of the list.

How do you build good teamwork? I am sure there are thousands of books out there that could help all of us in this area. The problem with books is that too many people read them, and then try to teach right out of the book. It sounds “canned” to the recipient of the lesson and therefore the message doesn’t seem to get through. Kids are a lot smarter than we think they are. I think sometimes the best way to be effective is not act like you’re trying to teach something. Let them learn it without seeming like a lesson. Be natural, have fun, be creative. Sometimes I tried this. I’m not sure how effective I was, but I had a lot of fun with the attempts and I didn’t read any book.

What does being right really accomplish other than fueling our personal egos and making us feel good about ourselves? We should already feel good about ourselves! We shouldn’t have to worry about always being right.

Instead of being right, try being effective.

Try to say something to somebody where the result is they actually listen to you and dow what you say, instead of coming back later and saying, “You were right.” I don’t want to be right anymore. I would much rather be effective. That’s what is really important, whether it be life in general…or on a ball field.

Some people just can’t be wrong, even when they are. They are so concerned about people believing them and listening to them, that they lose sight of the bigger picture. You can never improve your personal skills if you can’t accept the fact that you are sometimes wrong, and more important than being right, figure out what you did wrong, why you did it wrong, and then maybe you won’t do it wrong the next time. It is what it is. By always being right, you’ll never be effective. People will stop believing you (even if you can’t see it) and lack of belief will lead to lack of trust and then lack of leadership skills.

Bunting used to be exciting. It used to be fun. Players and coaches bought into the fact that this was the ultimate play, the act of sacrificing for your team and teammate. Now kids don’t even know how to bunt. How can that be? How can kids go through years and years of baseball and not have a clue on how to bunt a ball?

I’ve tried to understand the reasons why we have disrespected the game of baseball so much by practically eliminating the use of the bunt. How we have taken the simplest, most fun, purest, most team building action in baseball and turned it in to nothing more than a necessary evil something only attempted under dire circumstances. I’ve tried to understand how men with 30 and 40 years of baseball knowledge and experience could literally eliminate the one play that is the basic fabric of the game. I’ve tried to understand how we arrived at where we are now.

Life has a way of having a beautiful balance. For every success that you encounter, the opportunity for failure, or to be humbled, is lurking around the corner. For every negative person you encounter, there is opportunity to learn and become stronger. Life gives you chances to learn on a daily basis, to improve yourself as a person no matter what is thrown at you. The baseball field is a beautiful place to learn these lessons and to realize how boundless the fits of life are.

The price of success is great.

It needs to be or one would never appreciate its value. It’s about passion and hard work and respect and selflessness. You need to have all theses attributes. As a coach you need to communicate and teach these qualities. As a young baseball player, or youth in general, you need to understand how important these traits truly are. They work together so well. When you do manage to get a hold of all four of these redeeming values, you can navigate the waters so much easier. Then you can have a whole new appreciation of how much time, energy, and effort goes into being successful, and sometimes the sacrifices that need to be made. Nothing in life is easy.

In a nutshell, it’s all about risk and reward.

I think there are a certain criteria to having a perfect team and this is a few of mine:

-Every player on the team has a passion for the game of baseball

-Everybody contributes

-Everybody gets better

-Parents need to be on board

-Don’t coach…just watch

-Check the kids 5 and 10 years later

We all grow up too fast. Everybody wants to finish high school and go out and conquer the world and be their own person. That world can have a nasty attitude. Life can get a hold of you and throw you around.

I graduated from high school, went off to conquer the baseball world and I was done in the blink of an eye. My career was over and the baseball memories were locked up for a long time.

Very few players make it to the majors. You need to have a combination of talent and good fortune. Most kids who are lucky enough to be signed by a professional baseball team never make it. They linger in the minor leagues until they are let go, or until they realize on their own that they may still have the desire, but not the necessary talent. So they finally leave the game and move on with their lives. They may stay away from the game for years, or perhaps forever.

Sometimes it takes a son to bring you back, to live your childhood again. That’s what most of the dads are doing out there, trying to get that feeling back, the one we all had when we were just a kid.